How to Raise Righteous and Godly Children by jrdiaz
If the purpose of parenting is to raise righteous and godly children, the question naturally arises: how do we accomplish this? How do we raise children who are in right relationship with God, and live godly lives?
Before we answer this
question, let us consider first the findings of some psychologists on child
development.
Studies in child
development and psychology have revealed that the pattern of a child’s life is
generally set by age four. This means that whatever a child learns in
the first four years of life will determine the course of the rest of his life:
how he thinks, feels, talks, and acts. In other words, everything else is just
reinforcement.
Furthermore, repeated studies have made it clear that children
learn everything they need to learn in their first seven years of life.
After age seven, children learn only what they want to learn. In other words,
if you do not train your children in the way they should go by the time they
are seven―if you do not nurture the right character and behavior by then―you
probably never will. But if you do show them the way by age seven, it is highly
likely they will follow that way all their lives.
These studies confirmed the correctness and relevance of the Bible
in raising righteous and godly children.
Biblical wisdom says, “Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This is
why it is so important to get the Word of God into child’s mind and heart from
the earliest moments of life. Our children need more of our time and attention
in these formative years of their lives. They need our presence more than our
presents in these critical years of their lives.
The world bombards our children constantly with its own twisted
values and distorted views of morality. As parents, we need to be just as
diligent―or even more so―in bombarding them with the wisdom of the Word of God.
And it needs to start when they are small children. Waiting until they get to
high school is too late; the pattern of their lives will already be set by
then.
So, how do we raise righteous and godly children? Let us answer
this question based on the Word of God:
How
to Raise Righteous and Godly Children
1.
By knowing and showing the way
First of all, in order to show the way to our children we must
know the way ourselves. If we don’t know the way, how can we show the way? How
can we train our children to live right if we don’t know how to live right? How
can we teach them to pray if we don’t know how to pray? How can we teach them
God’s Word if we don’t know God’s Word? Our children can go only where we,
their parents, take them. So what will happen if we don’t know the way? Jesus
Christ said, “If the blind leads the blind,
both will fall into a ditch”.1 Furthermore, King Solomon said, “There is a way that seems right
to a man, but its end is the way
of death”.2
So our first job as parents is to study and know for ourselves the
way that our children should go so that we can show them the way. And
what is the way? It is the way of righteousness and godliness.
In order for us to become righteous and godly parents, we must
first reconcile ourselves to God (our holy and righteous Father) through His
Son Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "I am
the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me”.3 When we believe and receive Jesus
Christ in our lives, He will give us the right to become children of God.4 And when we become children of God, we
can now reproduce and impart the righteousness and holiness of our heavenly
Father in us to our children. When we know the way, we are ready for the next
step.
2. By training
your children
As parents, we must train our children deliberately and
purposefully, and this requires planning. Children need training because they
are not born self sufficient or possessing the knowledge they need to live
successfully. In other words, children
cannot raise or train themselves. God gave that responsibility to
parents―to us― and He holds us accountable for the way we bring up our
children. So, parenting must be intentional. It must be deliberate because godly
children do not turn out by accident; they are the product of the efforts of
committed, godly parent.
Training benefits both parent and child. Children benefit from
training because it prepares them for life. Parents benefit because
well-trained, well-raised children return to bless, honor, respect and obey
them.
Consequently, children benefit from obedience to their parents
because it teaches them to respect authority. Learning to submit to and obey
their earthly parents teaches children how to obey their invisible heavenly
Parent. And not only to obey Him but also to love Him.
Sometimes verbal instruction alone is not sufficient to motivate
children to obey their parents. If that is the case, other forceful or coercive
methods may be required. The Bible refers to this as the “rod of correction”.
This will take us to number three.
3.
By
applying discipline to your children properly and safely
Most of us believe that any kind of abuse of children, whether
physical, mental, verbal, or sexual abuse, is absolutely wrong. It is a
crime against the child and against society, and it is a sin
before the God who created children and loves them dearly. Coercive training
methods, when necessary, are not for
beating a child to submission, but for correcting him or her in
love. Coercive
training measures should be applied carefully, appropriately and
sparingly.
Parents must understand the difference between administering
correction and
committing abuse when it
comes to matters of discipline so they can apply the
“rod of correction” safely
and properly.
Proverbs says, “Foolishness is bound
up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him”. 5 The
rod is an instrument that helps children change their minds from the wrong to
the right. It drives foolishness away from your children and brings them
to maturity. Your hand is not a rod. So never
use your hand to punish a child. Never spank with your
hand because you don’t want your child to associate you or your hand with pain and
punishment. Hands are for hugging, touching, and caressing, not inflicting physical
blows. Instead of your hand, you may use a ping-pong paddle or some other
instrument that will not bruise or break the skin or inflict any other kind of injury.
You must apply your discipline to the well-padded spot. God designed the
buttocks of the human body as an appropriate spot and the only suitable place
for the application of physical discipline.
As a final point,
hereunder is a quote to ponder:
“There is no greater gift
and no more powerful legacy parents can pass on to their children than to train
them in the way of the Lord and to teach them to love Him with all their
hearts.”
Notes: 1. Matt. 15:14; 2. Prov. 14:12; 3. John
14:6; 4. John 1:12; 5. Prov. 22:15
These books are highly recommended for parents:
Check the price of this book @ King J Bookstore
Check the price of this book @ King J Bookstore
