How to Raise Righteous and Godly Children

How to Raise Righteous and Godly Children
by jrdiaz

If the purpose of parenting is to raise righteous and godly children, the question naturally arises: how do we accomplish this? How do we raise children who are in right relationship with God, and live godly lives?

           

Before we answer this question, let us consider first the findings of some psychologists on child development.

Studies in child development and psychology have revealed that the pattern of a child’s life is generally set by age four. This means that whatever a child learns in the first four years of life will determine the course of the rest of his life: how he thinks, feels, talks, and acts. In other words, everything else is just reinforcement.

Furthermore, repeated studies have made it clear that children learn everything they need to learn in their first seven years of life. After age seven, children learn only what they want to learn. In other words, if you do not train your children in the way they should go by the time they are seven―if you do not nurture the right character and behavior by then―you probably never will. But if you do show them the way by age seven, it is highly likely they will follow that way all their lives.

These studies confirmed the correctness and relevance of the Bible in raising righteous and godly children.  Biblical wisdom says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This is why it is so important to get the Word of God into child’s mind and heart from the earliest moments of life. Our children need more of our time and attention in these formative years of their lives. They need our presence more than our presents in these critical years of their lives.

The world bombards our children constantly with its own twisted values and distorted views of morality. As parents, we need to be just as diligent―or even more so―in bombarding them with the wisdom of the Word of God. And it needs to start when they are small children. Waiting until they get to high school is too late; the pattern of their lives will already be set by then.

So, how do we raise righteous and godly children? Let us answer this question based on the Word of God:

How to Raise Righteous and Godly Children

                       

1.    By knowing and showing the way

First of all, in order to show the way to our children we must know the way ourselves. If we don’t know the way, how can we show the way? How can we train our children to live right if we don’t know how to live right? How can we teach them to pray if we don’t know how to pray? How can we teach them God’s Word if we don’t know God’s Word? Our children can go only where we, their parents, take them. So what will happen if we don’t know the way? Jesus Christ said, “If the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch”.¹ Furthermore, King Solomon said, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”.²

So our first job as parents is to study and know for ourselves the way that our children should go so that we can show them the way. And what is the way? It is the way of righteousness and godliness.

In order for us to become righteous and godly parents, we must first reconcile ourselves to God (our holy and righteous Father) through His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me”.³ When we believe and receive Jesus Christ in our lives, He will give us the right to become children of God.⁴ And when we become children of God, we can now reproduce and impart the righteousness and holiness of our heavenly Father in us to our children. When we know the way, we are ready for the next step.

2.    By training your children

As parents, we must train our children deliberately and purposefully, and this requires planning. Children need training because they are not born self sufficient or possessing the knowledge they need to live successfully.  In other words, children cannot raise or train themselves. God gave that responsibility to parents―to us― and He holds us accountable for the way we bring up our children. So, parenting must be intentional. It must be deliberate because godly children do not turn out by accident; they are the product of the efforts of committed, godly parent.

Training benefits both parent and child. Children benefit from training because it prepares them for life. Parents benefit because well-trained, well-raised children return to bless, honor, respect and obey them.

Consequently, children benefit from obedience to their parents because it teaches them to respect authority. Learning to submit to and obey their earthly parents teaches children how to obey their invisible heavenly Parent. And not only to obey Him but also to love Him.

Sometimes verbal instruction alone is not sufficient to motivate children to obey their parents. If that is the case, other forceful or coercive methods may be required. The Bible refers to this as the “rod of correction”. This will take us to number three.

3.    By applying discipline to your children properly and safely

Most of us believe that any kind of abuse of children, whether physical, mental, verbal, or sexual abuse, is absolutely wrong. It is a crime against the child and against society, and it is a sin before the God who created children and loves them dearly. Coercive training methods, when necessary, are not for

beating a child to submission, but for correcting him or her in love. Coercive

training measures should be applied carefully, appropriately and sparingly.

Parents must understand the difference between administering correction and

committing abuse when it comes to matters of discipline so they can apply the

“rod of correction” safely and properly.

Proverbs says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him”. ⁵ The rod is an instrument that helps children change their minds from the wrong to the right. It drives foolishness away from your children and brings them to maturity. Your hand is not a rod. So never use your hand to punish a child. Never spank with your hand because you don’t want your child to associate you or your hand with pain and punishment. Hands are for hugging, touching, and caressing, not inflicting physical blows. Instead of your hand, you may use a ping-pong paddle or some other instrument that will not bruise or break the skin or inflict any other kind of injury. You must apply your discipline to the well-padded spot. God designed the buttocks of the human body as an appropriate spot and the only suitable place for the application of physical discipline.

As a final point, hereunder is a quote to ponder:

“There is no greater gift and no more powerful legacy parents can pass on to their children than to train them in the way of the Lord and to teach them to love Him with all their hearts.”

Notes: 1. Matt. 15:14; 2. Prov. 14:12; 3. John 14:6; 4. John 1:12; 5. Prov. 22:15

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